A Good Mother
by Madeleine Berard IT WAS THE FIFTIES, when women had just about as many rights as a dog. I didn’t go to work, never went to university. My greatest accomplishments at the time were my book club, marrying a psychologist, and of course, Ruth. Even now, thirty years later, I still think about her. Every time a young blonde girl walks into the convenience store I cashier at, I almost always think it’s her. Until, of course, the child swings around, and I see its mouth: slightly too thin, eyes too small, heels still upright and kicking; my eyes fall back on the scanner in shame and regret. She was ten when it happened. Her eyes had just fluttered open, taking in the raw truth of our world for the first time, finding all the opportunities that hide themselves around corners and under brick. Ruth is my daughter. She was cute, with her skinny legs, round cheeks, and golden head of hair. Marcus and I had put her in a few beauty pageants when she was six, before her symptoms started to surface. There were a couple weeks when I was considering putting her back in. Maybe she would have averted tragedy. You would never think a girl as bright and pretty as her would have that diagnosis. Ruth had a sharp mind. And I don’t mean smart. Although it’s true that she was the brightest in her class, something […]